My brother and I used to love to stir and stir our ice cream until it was smooth like soft serve. One day we got tired of stirring and thought the microwave would do a better job. So we stuck a few heaping scoops in the microwave and waited for it to bubble. Then we would enjoy our warm ice cream soup! Mint chip was the best. Eeew.
This is super gross. I really really loved graham cracker crumbs as a kid. I used to pour that stuff in a bowl, pour maple syrup all over it, mix it all together, make balls out of the concoction, smush the balls flat with a fork, put them in a tupperware container, and chill them until they became solid pancakes of terrible.
The worst part is how much time and effort I had to put into making them. This wasn’t a sudden craving I had to fill, this as a recipe.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, how about this one? I used to melt chocolate in a coffee mug and then toss conversation hearts into the mug. Then I would eat the sugar-infested mess with a spoon. Apparently some people like to eat them so that they can read the words on the hearts, but that just seems weird to me.
I used to beg my mom to buy cans of jellied cranberry sauce. Since it was only available around Thanksgiving, I requested 10 to 12 cans per year to keep me going.
Then I would take a plastic straw, open the can, and dig the straw into the cranberry sauce, so that I ended up wiht a straw full of worm-shaped cranberry sauce. Then I would do my best to suck out the cranberry sauce in one piece.
I didn’t have a lot of friends.
when my son was young he was a picky eater. If anyone made a face or derogatory comment of any kind about a certain “if-y” food, such as peas, he would refuse to even try them. One day while in the care of his grandmother he was being a typical 5 year old without a nap; whiny, irritable, and cranky. At lunch she asked what he wanted and he told her. To keep peace she made it for him. Peanut butter, jelly, mustard and bologna sandwich. It was a shock at first- I mean who eats that stuff? He ate it for lunch everyday for many years, dropping the peanut butter early on (you know, because that was the strange ingredient).
Growing up, I learned to love tuna salad, uncontroversially consisting of tuna, mayo and relish. I typically ate it in a sandwich.
One time when I was about 10, I was staying at my grandparents’ cabin in northern MN, and my grandmother was making me lunch. I requested a tuna sandwich, and she added some carrot sticks and peanut butter to my plate. For some reason there was a slice of American cheese on there as well. I did what any inquisitive youngster might do with two (three) great tastes, and sought to find whether they tasted great together.
The Grandma BB Special
- tuna salad
- slice of American cheese
- peanut butter
- carrot sticks, thin
- layer all of the above in a sandwich, cut into square quarters
- enjoy more than you expected
- request on future visits to the lake
Confessionally, I still enjoy this sandwich from time to time. It is way less gross than it sounds. I’ve heard of putting carrots in tuna salad, and putting cheese on a tuna sandwich isn’t all that uncommon, so the real surprise here is how well the tuna and peanut butter play together.
When I was a kid I used to, for breakfast, fry and egg and put it between two thick slices of ham. If the egg was too slick with oil, I would stick it to the ham slices with grape jelly. It tasted like heaven.
I loved Spagettios. More than I should have. I wanted to eat them all the time, but I also wanted to have my own cooking show, so I would sometimes set up a bunch of ingredients and make my own variation of Spagettios while narrating and telling funny little anecdotes. Usually I would just add cans of corn, shredded cheese, and cans of peas to the Spagettios, but I would always tell an awesome joke to my audience while the microwave was running.
I never taped these TV shows. I just basically talked to myself in my kitchen while making disgusting food.
As a latch-key kid I had time to make all sorts of stuff. one of my favorites was taking a Hershey’s chocolate bar and putting it in one of those tacky Tupper-Ware tall cups that came in weird off colors like fuchsia and teal, add a big spoonful of Peanut-Butter and stick it in the micro-wave until it was liquid. Then I would drink it all! I ruined all of those stupid plastic cups one by one!
When I was about 3 years old I would eat those frozen Chicken patties. For the longest time I thought they looked like sugar cookies. They were more addictive than weed laced crack LOL. So gross